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Hazel
Sept 13, 2019 3:02:07 GMT
Post by yasmin on Sept 13, 2019 3:02:07 GMT
I know how you feel. I have left empty cages with all the stuff in it for months – cleaning out the odd bit whenever I can deal with it. Usually it isn't until I find other animals that need adopting - then I am motivated to totally clean the cage and prep it for my new arrivals.
If there is no rush, leave it until you are ready.
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Hazel
Sept 13, 2019 9:19:57 GMT
Post by moletteuk on Sept 13, 2019 9:19:57 GMT
Are there any bits you could keep? Like a wood chew and a handful of bedding out of the nest or whatever reminds you of her. If you pop a few bits in a ziplock bag they will keep the smell for a while. I've always found the last of the cleanout difficult, but the pain didn't linger too bad after it was done, sort of a grasp the nettle situation.
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Post by ntg on Sept 13, 2019 15:44:37 GMT
I'm so sorry for the loss of Coco DL you did an amazing job looking after her and she was extremely lucky to have you as her goo-mum! I can't help with the clean-out dilemma as I'm apparently the complete opposite of everyone else. I distinctly remember after Venk passed on I cleaned and packed away his cage that night because I knew I wouldn't be able to face seeing it empty when I got back from taking him home to my parents to be buried with the rest of his family in their garden. Like mole suggested though, I did keep his fleece house, which is also a reminder of all four of them since its the first tent I made for them and now it always brings a smile to my face as I think of how they all used to manage to squeeze into it with three noses poking out through the door and the last nowhere to be seen. Another thing that might help, if it's to your taste, is you can get glass memorial jewellery made with the ashes of loved ones, including pets. Jewellers can make anything from rings and necklaces to a charm with them and they can be a lovely way to keep her close to you always. As for Hazel, unlike the others I might be tempted to try them together in a neutral territory like the bathroom since the girls are happy with Hazel as long as they aren't in their cage, particularly if they aren't showing the same aggression when all of them are in their cages as it sounds like it might just be a touch of jealousy that she's out and they aren't. deguconvert any thoughts?
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Hazel
Sept 14, 2019 8:22:35 GMT
ntg likes this
Post by klbishop on Sept 14, 2019 8:22:35 GMT
Morning DL, sorry I haven't messaged sooner just catching up on life things.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences to you and your family. I am sending all my love and so many hugs.
In our community having the privilege to love and be loved by these quirkly little fluff balls comes with the unavoidable and heartbreaking loss when they leave us. the hurt you have right now is from that love, you cant love this deeply and not have the hurt. To quote a really smart member of this group - sometimes bad things happen to good people and goos, there is no rhyme or reason. It just happens.
Every person in this group is aching for you, we all know the loss, it never gets easier whether you have one degu in your lifetime or 15. But grief will ease up (I promise this), it will come in waves - at the moment you feel everything, each photo is raw but in the coming weeks and months those same photos that make you cry will make you laugh and smile. You never stop expecting them to bound up behind their mate, but you will start making happy memories, remembering them fondly. That isnt disloyal to them its carrying them forward into your future, its the most loving thing you can do - keeping them with you.
We are all here for you, you have all of our thoughts and we send so much love. Right now - keep one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Focus on your basics, remember to eat and try to sleep. Look after yourself and if you need others to help you manage that - please reach each, to your family, to us or even your doctor. please. please please dont suffer on your own. Every person who has been following your story and your guys will have felt your grief and want to help in any way we can.
I send you all the love in the world, take care of yourself and if ever you want to chat i am more than happy to listen.
Much Love K xx
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Hazel
Sept 14, 2019 11:36:42 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 14, 2019 11:36:42 GMT
Thank you for kind words guys. She’s been gone 18days and I thinking of her all the time. I know time heals and I can’t hurry the process it’s weird how this little pets can have such a impact on our lives. I have days were I cry and days I don’t. Putting her to sleep was the hardest things to do I just hope I made the right choice, my mum and dad said I did she was poorly and weak. She got worse that night. Thinking about her upsets me I miss her personality and when I use to try and kiss her she would let me or put her paws on my mouth. 3 and half years isn’t enough time I hoped for more. The love I had for coco is unexplainable she’s was truly a character and bring smiles to my face daily. I miss her big pointy ears and her white line on her head. Hazel is doing okay most likely missing the bond with another goo but I think she knew about coco and got herself ready. I’ve been thinking about doing face to face today in the bath tub. They’ve been living side by side since coco passed. Your thoughts on this idea?
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Hazel
Sept 14, 2019 12:19:28 GMT
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savvy likes this
Post by ntg on Sept 14, 2019 12:19:28 GMT
It really does hurt to lose them, they may only be small but they wriggle deep into your heart since they have so much personality. But it will get easier, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. I find it's best to try and focus on the happy memories rather than the last few days when they were ill: the little things that would make you laugh and the little shows of affection that made your heart sing when they did them. I think everyone questions the decision to some degree, but your mam and dad are right in saying you did the right thing DL. You tried everything you could to help her but sometimes everything still isn't enough Before you introduce them, I'd wait for deguconverts input as she has the most experience in intros. I think she might be away for a few days but there's no need to rush it as Hazel will be getting some comfort from just having them beside her. How are they all interacting with each other in and outside of the cage now? Is Snowball still the one showing aggression with Fudge being okay with Hazel? Does Snowball show any signs of aggression towards Fudge or vice versa when Hazel is around?
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Hazel
Sept 14, 2019 15:07:51 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 14, 2019 15:07:51 GMT
They don’t really brother each other side by side In the cages. It’s when there put hazel goes to say hello and the others do a bit of teeth grinding but nothing to aggressive. When it’s the other way around fudge and snowball don’t bother hazel I remember when snowball would burst a nut to get at them.
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Hazel
Sept 16, 2019 1:03:26 GMT
Post by savvy on Sept 16, 2019 1:03:26 GMT
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Hazel
Sept 16, 2019 11:39:07 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 16, 2019 11:39:07 GMT
It’s just finding one close to home to adopt.
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Hazel
Sept 16, 2019 12:18:00 GMT
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Post by ntg on Sept 16, 2019 12:18:00 GMT
I still don't think we're at the stage where you need to think about new additions yet. The interactions really do sound promising to me since the only time they show aggravation is when Hazel is out and they aren't.
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Hazel
Sept 16, 2019 13:57:57 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 16, 2019 13:57:57 GMT
Me and my dad are attempting Face to face. Where thinking of putting fudge, then haze and snowball.
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Hazel
Sept 16, 2019 15:56:41 GMT
Post by deguconvert on Sept 16, 2019 15:56:41 GMT
Like NTG, I am also wondering if it is jealousy to see Hazel out, and them not. Maybe they are already thinking of themselves as a unit of three? Have you done the face to face you mentioned above? If you have, how did it go?
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Hazel
Sept 16, 2019 17:16:20 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 16, 2019 17:16:20 GMT
Nope not yet waiting for my dad to help me. He said he will help me either day or today, so we will find out. I just hope they don’t hurt her. When hazels comes she goes up to them and doesn’t leave them alone now, she’s always pinging the bars now. She never did this when coco was here. But yeah fudge and snowball don’t bother her when they are out. They ignore her.
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 16, 2019 20:51:19 GMT
youtu.be/jsAD8j0Xirc Omg so happy they haven’t attacked this Each other. Hazel is currently in there cage. There’s no fighting or anything she’s trying to grooming them both. Just a few noises than walking away She’s hogged there wheel.
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Post by klbishop on Sept 16, 2019 21:08:54 GMT
that looks like a promising start! well done DL. take your time though, intros in home turf have ways more things to get territorial over. the video is great - congratulations
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 16, 2019 21:27:39 GMT
There’s not bothered about her. Snowball and fudge are chilling hazel is looking around
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Post by ntg on Sept 16, 2019 22:41:56 GMT
Amazing start! Well done DL I'm not sure I'd leave them in together overnight at the moment though as it's hard to keep an eye on them when you're asleep! When's your next day off? If it's towards the end of the week then I'd suggest doing a few more meets, even if it's running around the bedroom together when you'd usually have them out. If everything continues smoothly then I'd put them together on the morning of your day off so that you can keep a close eye on them throughout the day. Then if there's no squabbles, extend it to the night-time too.
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Post by moletteuk on Sept 17, 2019 17:28:21 GMT
the video looks brilliant to me, I enjoyed watching it anyway The bit where they are all go still facing the same way in the sand bath is priceless
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 18, 2019 12:10:09 GMT
Thank you guys I’m soo happy for hazel
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