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Hazel
Aug 31, 2019 19:02:17 GMT
Post by savvy on Aug 31, 2019 19:02:17 GMT
I echo what DC has said. You need to remember that when they are all in their cages, they are on their own territory, when out playing, it's a neutral zone that is claimed by the degu(s) in it at that time, but they are never in that neutral zone together, each still have a territory they are in.
You need to get to the stage when you are hearing happy noises from all of them before you attempt a face to face. Should they all decide to start a fight, 3 angry degus are a lot to deal with.
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Hazel
Aug 31, 2019 21:09:22 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Aug 31, 2019 21:09:22 GMT
It’s just hazel is so lonely. Fudge is not really showing signs of aggression towards hazel. I just feel bad leaving the room to go do something and leaving hazel on her own. But I know what you mean I was gonna face to face in the bath tub.
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Post by hpdegus on Aug 31, 2019 21:53:04 GMT
I'm sure having Fudge and Snowball nearby is very very helpful for Hazel. It'll take time for them get to the point of face to face intros, but I'm glad that Hazel seems receptive at this point.
Don't forget to take care of yourself. I know you're doing all you can for Hazel, but you need to grieve and stay healthy too.
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Hazel
Sept 1, 2019 10:39:57 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 1, 2019 10:39:57 GMT
I’m getting there.. just feeling guilty for taking away her cage mate. Just want them to be happy. Hazel has started pinging the cage not only the get the attention she’s never done that.
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Post by moletteuk on Sept 1, 2019 14:50:51 GMT
You didn't take away her cagemate, DL, you did everything you could to stop that happening, it wasn't your fault that the vets couldn't save her. In the first few days after losing a pet it's normal to feel overwhelmed with guilt and 'what ifs', but it's important that you try to counter that in your mind somehow, or it can be very damaging mentally. Have you thought about trying to get a couple of counselling sessions?
I know Hazel is grieving too but don't forget how bratty and quick to tell you what they want degus are. She is pinging the bars and perhaps saying she would prefer to have some attention in that moment, but it doesn't mean that she NEEDS attention every moment, especially when it is not humanly possible to give her attention every minute. You can only do your best and that involves getting to work, looking after yourself, looking after Snowball and Fudge, and protecting your mental health too.
Try to stay really firm on not caving in to Hazel and rushing any introduction. It's not in her best interest or yours. If you rush it and it goes wrong then everyone will be upset and it will ultimately take longer to get everyone happy again.
It sounds like things are going well with the side by side, but it doesn't sound to me like Snowball and Fudge are ready to welcome Hazel yet, so just carry on as things are for quite a while yet.
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Hazel
Sept 1, 2019 18:36:55 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 1, 2019 18:36:55 GMT
I know I just really miss her. I go back to work tomorrow and hating leaving haze in the morning. Fudge isn’t seeming to bad with hazel it’s snowball more.i dont want to replace coco at all. But if it comes to snowball and fudge not accepting her Id had to consider getting her a buddy either a male whose been done or a baby pup cos hazel would likely accept them better but it all feels so wrong.wish I could have coco back. It’s weird how life can take a turn coco was happy and alive 3 weeks ago. Now she’s gone. Is it normal for hazel to be quiet? She’s gone quiet on the plus side she’s gained weight. The fact coco had cataracts and weighted a lot tells me they have bad genes her and hazel. I remember the day I went to get them I was so excited. 3 and half years wasn’t long enough.
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Hazel
Sept 1, 2019 20:09:13 GMT
Post by savvy on Sept 1, 2019 20:09:13 GMT
It's never long enough, but you had three and a half wonderful years and you gave her such a good life.
It is normal for Hazel to be quiet, she's grieving and it's going to take time.
I'm going to say something here which may be a little out of left field, so bare with me. I've heard that degus can be a little 'racist' for want of a better term, and if I remember correctly, Snowball isn't an agouti is she? Could the aggression she's showing Hazel be down to Hazel being a different colour? I know Snowball's bonded with Fudge, but they came to you as a bonded pair. It's just a thought.
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Hazel
Sept 1, 2019 22:01:34 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 1, 2019 22:01:34 GMT
It's never long enough, but you had three and a half wonderful years and you gave her such a good life. It is normal for Hazel to be quiet, she's grieving and it's going to take time. I'm going to say something here which may be a little out of left field, so bare with me. I've heard that degus can be a little 'racist' for want of a better term, and if I remember correctly, Snowball isn't an agouti is she? Could the aggression she's showing Hazel be down to Hazel being a different colour? I know Snowball's bonded with Fudge, but they came to you as a bonded pair. It's just a thought. you know my dad thought that aswell, doesn’t she like agouti degus and yeah your right snowball is white and brown. Well my dad got me fudge on her own to put the hazel and coco but never happened so we went back the next day and got snowball. My dad said they was in a group of 4 and he remembers seeing snowball while he got fudge. But yeah they grow up together. Didn’t know degus could be racist
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Post by savvy on Sept 1, 2019 22:06:43 GMT
I think it was Bouncy who first noticed it.
But all is not lost, it just may take longer to get them together.
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Post by savvy on Sept 1, 2019 22:10:30 GMT
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Hazel
Sept 1, 2019 23:30:14 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 1, 2019 23:30:14 GMT
Ermm it’s weird but it’s possible she doesn’t like her colour but Yeah just worried leaving her tomorrow while I go to work :/
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Post by moletteuk on Sept 2, 2019 10:31:58 GMT
I don't think we have enough data to draw any conclusions about colours not liking other colours/patterns.
I think it's too soon to worry if Snowball is going to come around to Hazel too, there is plenty of time.
I'm sure Hazel will be fine while you are at work, a day isn't so long in degu terms, she will adapt.
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Hazel
Sept 2, 2019 11:13:35 GMT
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 2, 2019 11:13:35 GMT
I don't think we have enough data to draw any conclusions about colours not liking other colours/patterns. I think it's too soon to worry if Snowball is going to come around to Hazel too, there is plenty of time. I'm sure Hazel will be fine while you are at work, a day isn't so long in degu terms, she will adapt. is it wrong I’ve considered about getting her a buddy? Just worried she’s lonely. When I’m in my room gaming or reading I let her out to play.
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Post by savvy on Sept 2, 2019 11:34:39 GMT
No its not wrong, I did it twice. Brought Bumblebee home the day after I lost Pixie, brought Reggie home two days after I lost Bumblebee.
Each time I spent the first couple of weeks telling them they could never replace Pixie, and then Bumblebee, and I did feel like I was being disrespectful to their memories and it took me a while to start to get attached to them. It was really only when their individual personalities came out that I could begin to get passed those initial thoughts/feelings and begin to love them for who they were.
What you are fEaling is perfectly natural, you will never, ever forget Coco, she'll live on in your heart and your memory.
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 2, 2019 13:22:31 GMT
No its not wrong, I did it twice. Brought Bumblebee home the day after I lost Pixie, brought Reggie home two days after I lost Bumblebee. Each time I spent the first couple of weeks telling them they could never replace Pixie, and then Bumblebee, and I did feel like I was being disrespectful to their memories and it took me a while to start to get attached to them. It was really only when their individual personalities came out that I could begin to get passed those initial thoughts/feelings and begin to love them for who they were. What you are fEaling is perfectly natural, you will never, ever forget Coco, she'll live on in your heart and your memory. coco was one of a kind will and do miss her so much. How old was they when you bring they home.
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Post by savvy on Sept 2, 2019 13:50:54 GMT
Bumblebee was two, and Reggie was 7 months.
I still miss and look for Pixie and Bumblebee.
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Post by moletteuk on Sept 2, 2019 15:56:17 GMT
It's not wrong for you think about getting another goo, but it's only been a few days since you lost Coco, and there is a good chance that Snowball and Fudge might accept Hazel so I don't think it's necessary or the right thing just now for you to get another degu. If you go back to the start of this thread there is an order of options that you can work through and non of the options are easy but you definitely need to give the simpler options a good go before you try the more difficult options like introducing a new degu. You are in pain at the moment with your loss so try not to make life more complicated than it needs to be, a new degu won't take the pain away.
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Post by degulover21 on Sept 2, 2019 18:51:05 GMT
I know I’m just thinking off hazel my dad said see how things go for a bit if they don’t accept her or she stops eating and drinking we’ll come to that if it happens. I would like them to get together a 3 degu sleep pile. I hope you don’t I’m being selfish or disrespecting coco. I’d do anything to have her back. I went to work today and haze was fine. My dad checked her.
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Post by savvy on Sept 2, 2019 19:17:28 GMT
You're not bring selfish or disrespectful, you're looking out for her friend, which is likely what she'd want you to do.
It's still early days yet, Hazel is probably resting while you're at work, I know I catch mine kipping if I come in unexpectedly, lol. It wasn't a sudden or unexpected disappearance for Hazel as she would have known how ill Coco was at the end, animals are just so much better at sensing this than us hoomans.
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Post by moletteuk on Sept 2, 2019 19:26:55 GMT
I know you are just thinking of Hazel, you're not being selfish at all. You just want everything to be OK for her as soon as possible, which is understandable.
I totally believe that degus feel all sorts of emotions, but I don't think it's in quite the same way as humans, they don't seem to dwell on things like humans, I think Hazel is going to cope better than you think.
I think the practical difficulty for you at the moment regarding Hazel is that the best thing for her right now is watching and waiting which probably feels like doing nothing, which is hard when you are probably itching to be getting on with something/ anything to help her. Just remember you aren't doing nothing, you are watching and waiting, which is a positive thing.
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