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Post by moletteuk on Oct 14, 2021 18:12:03 GMT
I'm very sorry for your loss.
I know the suffering is what fills your mind at the moment, but gradually things will come back more into perspective. It might help a little to know that the first few days of grief are awful when the end wasn't as you might hope, and you have to just get through that and try not to fall down the hole that tries to swallow you. 3 days doesn't ruin your relationship over 5 1/2 years and you will be able to think about the entirity of his life and think about the life you gave him and relationship you built at some point.
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Post by creggle on Oct 14, 2021 19:16:28 GMT
hmm i wish quoting worked for me thank you both for the kind messages, it does help, nobody i know really understands how i feel cause they 'are just mice' according to some, not many people know how special goos are @degucovert i appreciate it but he was syringed for 3 days, i dont think an empty belly for 3 days is as traumatic as that, and he would of had me to make him feel safe still. his big bro would bully him sometimes and hed always come running to me paws on the bars, he was so timid and gentle, even his bites during the syringe feeding barely drew blood, none of them were deep or painful. and hed bite and look up like he was scared or sorry. degu like that are so rare. his big bro is a nightmare compared lol. i do think putting him to sleep was the right move, the only regret regarding that was that i wasnt there, he was scheduled to stay there until morning, recieve dental, fluids etc and observation. he said to me on the phone that it was best to euthanize him while he was asleep rather than wake him up to do it so i agreed. one thing though, his eyes were open when i recieved him??? that seems odd @moleteuk thanks, i meant the bond on his side being broken, i still loved him of course but he was afraid of me until the end, from grooming me and 'sunning' up against me in my bed to running and staring at me with wide open eyes, going to sleep around strangers and never waking up, away from his brother... no, these things are too hard to bury out of my mind, i failed him horribly to some degree. his end was awful and that doesnt include the suffering from the roots, i wish i could talk to him somehow and tell him i didnt mean to hurt him
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Post by bouncy on Oct 14, 2021 19:35:28 GMT
I'm sure you didn't lose your bond, even at the end. Scaredy had overgrown roots, and we had a great relationship and routine for vet visits, feeding, and drugs. At the end, though, he just sat fluffed up, gently rocking, and wouldn't take food, water, or even his brothers. I knew then.
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Post by creggle on Oct 15, 2021 13:22:51 GMT
I remember your goos names from when I first joined, I hope they are all playing happily up there, maybe they can show Peaky a thing or two about pillons he was so shy and timid they'd have to be good teachers! I think I did lose the bond though, every time I saw him he was ready to come out no matter what time it was, even if they were asleep, wednesday and thursday even if I moved a little too fast he'd bolt and hide, and getting him out even in his suffering state was hard, he wanted to stay in the cage and not have to be syringed. Blinder used to be like he was too, but he is apprehensive about greeting and interacting with me at the minute though, I hope my bond with him hasn't been damaged by the amount of time I spent with Peaky this week. Or by his passing. Peaky spent alot of time making burrows in my bed and cuddling
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Post by deguconvert on Oct 15, 2021 18:16:54 GMT
The absence of Peaky will be affecting Blinder, and he will be mourning for him, just as you are. You will be able to re-establish and rebuild you bond with Blinder. The balance of "family" relationships that he has been accustomed to has changed, and it started changing when the trouble in Peakers body became more than he could deal with. That is not an accusation against you . . . it is something that truly was way beyond your control, and beyond what the vets could treat. It was changing things before you even knew it was happening, and not one of us would have been any better at this than you. Elongated roots are terrible!
I know that if I were in your shoes I would be mourning the changes to the bond we shared as well. Your feelings are real, and you need to mourn. You also need to know that sometimes the cost of trying to help another to heal is difficult, but we would rather they heal than not. You did not do what you did out of a cold heart, but out of love and compassion. You did it to give his body a fighting chance. Had he been able to survive this, and we all wanted him to, you would have continued to help him fight for his life and your bond would have been repaired and likely even stronger. You are a good degu dad!!
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Post by savvy on Oct 15, 2021 19:18:45 GMT
I am so very sorry! You did all you could and I too think the bond would have been there at the end, he would have known you loved him.
Rest in peace little Peaky, there's a comfy degu pile waiting for you to snuggle into.
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