rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Mar 13, 2019 23:18:25 GMT
Oh man, Rambam I'm so sorry for your loss and circumstance I completely understand your concerns over rehoming, I'm currently going through the same thing with one of my girlies, Bounce. She is a rescue and came from horrific conditions, and deciding to part with her is honestly the hardest decision I've ever had to make and is gutting. I'm terrified that she won't be cared for properly. I fully understand the fear of her not being looked after properly, not being let out, given as much space, interacted with or loved like you do. You know how much your love her, and finding someone who would love and care for her like you do feels impossible. But there are those people out there - this forum proves it Don't give up! I understand your apprehension on the rehoming pages. Heck, just today there was someone wanting to rehome their goo because he was on his own, and the only comments were about five different people saying 'nah he's fine, I have a lone degu and she's perfectly happy on her own blah blah'. If I could slap through a screen, I would! My post about Bounce does state that anyone interested will be basically interrogated, haha. But you'll find that people who are genuine won't care about that - personally, were I to adopt, the more questions asked about me and my situation the happier I'd be! I know you said about not wanting to use a rescue, and again it's something I completely understand - you want to meet the person rehoming your little Ava and want to make sure she goes to a good home. That being said, I'll just mention Notts Nibblers. They are literally the only rescue I'd consider, if it ever came to it. They have a two week assessment period for new arrivals, minimum cage size requirements, and aren't afraid to refuse rehoming to people. I totally understand not wanting to though, and for me it would be a 100% last resort, but they take incredibly good care of their animals. Have a look at their set ups on their website and facebook page. They're the sort of people that, if they were to want to rehome Bounce as a permanant resident with themselves, I'd let them in a heartbeat They are very big on bonding and keeping social animals in pairs/groups. I never actually knew bonding gerbils was a thing until these guys! If you're struggling with spending time with Ava on a busy day, try using a scarf wrapped loosely around your neck for her to snuggle in on an evening, my boy likes to fall asleep in mine whilst I unwind or watch a film, or you can buy purpose made material 'pouches' for this. They're made for socialising/taming pets, but I imagine would also work very well for special snuggle time. Are you able to build a play pen? There are really good threads on here for how to make one, mine cost about £30 to make but is waaayy bigger than it needs to be so you could make a smaller one for less and it would stop her from nibbling things she shouldn't. If I have a busy day I eat my lunch sitting in the play pen with Bounce, so she gets time outside the cage and interaction, but she gets it whilst I'm also nourishing myself so it's not time 'lost'. I completely understand your anxiety and pain over what to do. Reading your post was like looking in a mirror for my own emotions with Bounce. Whatever you do, know that it is coming from a place of pure love for this girl and will be whatever you believe is best for her If you think rehoming her is best, you can put her out there when you're ready and see if anyone suitable pops up. If they do, ask whatever you need to ask to make yourself feel comfortable. I've already had interest in Bounce, but no one suitable/with suitable degus. Ask for their experience, details on their degus personality, photos of their set ups, etc. Tell them you want to meet them in person first (in a public place - stay safe). Do whatever you need to to make yourself comfortable. It took a whole lot of typing and crying for me to make the rehoming post for Bounce, but since doing it I've realised that nothing has changed - for now she is still a a part of my life, and I choose what happens next. All that's happened is that I am now exploring what could be suitable paths, and deciding whether they are or not. It doesn't mean it's not hard, and it doesn't mean that I'm not constantly worried about both her current situation and her future simultaniously, but I find it helpful to know that even whilst I am here worrying and loving her, the perfect person with the perfect goo may just stumble across my post. Sorry for such a long post! I hope my ramblings have helped in some way xx I actually saw your post the other day and thought “that’s a proper owner!”. I think some of us just have it in us and care so much. My thought has always been why have them if you aren’t going to do everything right for them? A lot of people on there don’t seem to even be asking any questions. I’ve been able to make time for her so far luckily, I’ve been moving her cage between rooms as well. She’s out at the moment and being a little weirdo as usual. She’s definitely picked up a bit. I think you’re right about asking lots of questions and being picky about who gets her. She deserves the best. I hope you find the perfect home for bounce! I will take a look at that rescue! X
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Mar 13, 2019 23:22:11 GMT
One thing about Notts (having adopted from there before). You get a full interrogation of your goo experience, have to provide photos of your setup, and have to sign a declaration that,if you're unable to keep your adoptees, they MUST be returned so they can be confident that any onward home is also appropriate. That’s really good. I volunteer as a dog walker at the rescue I got Ava from and they wanted to see a pic of the set up but didn’t really ask me anything else. Nothing about diet or letting them out or anything. Luckily they didn’t need to with me but you never know who will want a degu and then get bored and change their mind, or realise that they aren’t as easy to look after as they thought! I’ll look at that rescue though
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Mar 13, 2019 23:25:00 GMT
Hi RamBam, sorry to hear what happened - we lost one of our degus a month or so ago and it’s heart breaking. The fire wasn’t your fault, it could of happened to anyone - it really brings home just how easily it can happen. We also live in Bristol, and have a Lone Degu - she is 6 years old. I was keeping my eyes open incase a female lone degu popped up in Bristol. Even though Moon doesn’t seem lonely, I would still rather she has a companion as they are very social creatures. We would be very reluctant to give Moon away (we have had her for almost 6 years), but we havnt got much space for introductions so I will need to speak to my partner, but if you are interested please pm me and I’m sure we can work something out! Hi, I will pm you and discuss. I love her so much and could happily have her here with me but I know she’d love to have a friend. She tries to talk to the guinea pigs but they aren’t interested! I’m also sorry for your loss, it’s never easy! X
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Post by deguconvert on Mar 14, 2019 14:27:32 GMT
This is a lovely thread, Rambam! A very hopeful and loving and encouraging, though kind of bitter sweet, exchange between degu lovers helping each other. A highlight of beauty.
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Mar 16, 2019 23:51:32 GMT
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Post by deguconvert on Mar 17, 2019 2:18:53 GMT
Awwwww!! SO CUTE!! What a smart little cookie!! LOVE HER!
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Mar 24, 2019 23:07:48 GMT
I’ve ended up making a post in the adoption section. I’m not expecting much as I know not many people are in the same area but maybe I’ll find the best forever home for her and if not she’ll stay with me. She just doesn’t seem herself at the mo. The vet already checked her over and said she was fine but maybe another trip will alleviate some fear.
She’s not putting on much weight even though she eats but maybe she’s not eating enough. I’m also giving her critical care on an evening and she’ll eat most of it up. Wish she’d let me comfort her. If I put my fingers through the bars she’ll sleep on my hand but when she’s out she doesn’t pay me too much attention and runs about like a maniac. She’s being very vocal which is what she used to do when I had her on her own when I rescued her. I’ve taken to singing to her when she’s lying down and hoping that helps a bit.
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Post by bouncy on Mar 25, 2019 12:13:00 GMT
It sounds like she's settling back to her old self!
Really weight gain, I found that one of mine also can't put weight on with normal eating, only maintain. I also have to give him cc mixed with ground almonds. He munches it all up like he's not eaten for a month (even though I've just watched him sat in the food bowl), but hey ho!
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Mar 25, 2019 13:02:38 GMT
It sounds like she's settling back to her old self! Really weight gain, I found that one of mine also can't put weight on with normal eating, only maintain. I also have to give him cc mixed with ground almonds. He munches it all up like he's not eaten for a month (even though I've just watched him sat in the food bowl), but hey ho! I just want her to be happy really. I may end up having to get another one but don’t really have the space. Will do what I have to though. Wish she’d let me comfort her. She was doing much better before and put on weight and stopped making whining noises but she’s gone back to how she was now. I know it hasn’t been long but feel sad for her.
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Apr 1, 2019 20:50:38 GMT
So I think I’ve found someone who would look after Ava well. He has a girl around the same age and him and his partner want a friend for her. She has free time in a degu proof living room and has a big cage and Tubes and things to chew all over the floor. His vets sound knowledgeable and he’s willing to drive a few hours to get her. I’m just feeling so guilty and awful for even thinking about giving her up. I don’t want to but I know She’s lonely. I was going to start looking for a friend for her but he popped up. What if I’m making a mistake? I just don’t know what to do.
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Post by deguconvert on Apr 1, 2019 21:30:53 GMT
Oh love! I wish I knew how to answer that! The question is so difficult, but none of us know what kind of horrible (or wonderful) things may happen even with our most careful and attentive management. I think the only way to be sure of him (at least as sure as you could be) would be to see their setup in person . . . but it sounds like that would be very difficult to do.
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Post by moletteuk on Apr 2, 2019 10:03:07 GMT
Have you seen pics? Can you friend them on facebook so you can get some idea of their overall attitude to life?
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Apr 3, 2019 17:35:47 GMT
Have you seen pics? Can you friend them on facebook so you can get some idea of their overall attitude to life? Hey, I have seen quite a few pics now and asked so many questions and he’s been great about it. I think I’ve made my decision now that I’m happy she’ll be loved and looked after. They have literally made their living room a degu safe play room. The fact is that I’m just not giving Ava the attention she needs. I would get another one but the same issue would occur. I get home late and once I’ve cooked and eaten I’m shattered. I let her out and try and interact but she’s not that interested in me at the mo. I can give her everything else she needs but not as much time as she should have. I feel terribly guilty and that I’m letting her down. I rescued her and it’s my job to look after her and I feel like I’m going against that. The man has said he will feed her whatever I want him too as that was an issue so will send her off with lots of food. He does feed his Lone Degu similarly but without seeds. Haven’t agreed yet but think I have decided and I’m not going to find anyone better for her really. My only worry is that they have a baby but he assures me that as she gets older they won’t be left unsupervised. I have also said that I will always have her back if he ever decides they don’t want her.
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Post by deguconvert on Apr 3, 2019 20:29:25 GMT
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Post by deguconvert on Apr 5, 2019 18:25:58 GMT
How are things going, Rambam? Been thinking about you!
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Apr 5, 2019 21:24:23 GMT
How are things going, Rambam? Been thinking about you! Hi, I’m ok. Not sure if the details of when Ava will be collected but there’s no rush. I can say a proper goodbye this way. Tomorrow I’m going to go and get her a few bits and bobs for her new home. I’ll miss her so much but I think she’ll be happier where she’s headed and that makes me feel less guilty. I do still feel VERY guilty though I but not sure that keeping her wouldn’t just be me being selfish because I don’t want to feel the pain or anxiety of not having her. Xx
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Post by deguconvert on Apr 6, 2019 0:26:45 GMT
I think that is a difficult thing to tease out, and really it is a question that is fraught with so many strong emotions, knowing which way to turn becomes almost impossible to determine. I would encourage you to not let your mind play the guilt or shame game. Love her, be thankful for her new home, don't be afraid to ask for photos or updates on how she is doing, and allow yourself to step into the changes with a hopeful heart. You and Ava both need to have some recuperative time, her in the healing she will find with new cage mates, and you to give yourself some peace and love and healing from the trauma of the fire.
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rambam
Foraging Degu
Posts: 64
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Post by rambam on Apr 7, 2019 18:45:58 GMT
Ava has now been collected and is on the way to her new home. I’m not feeling great but it has helped meeting the man who has taken her as he was really friendly and kind and very clearly loves animals and is willing to learn. He’s asked me to send him a link to this site so you may hear from him Thank you so much for all your help over the years.
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Post by moletteuk on Apr 7, 2019 19:24:16 GMT
Sorry, I meant to post here yesterday, I'm glad the adopter made you feel comfortable when you met him, and a willingness to learn is always a good sign. Try not to feel too bad, if it's the best decision for Ava and a good decision for you, then it can't really be wrong. Maybe it's not what you planned or anticipated when you got her, but you've had a rough few months, life gets in the way sometimes and we have to make different choices. I think you've been brave to let her go, it's clear you've done it for her benefit, try not to feel too bad about it. It's been a pleasure having you on the forum.
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Post by deguconvert on Apr 7, 2019 19:24:35 GMT
Many hugs to you, Rambam!! I have enjoyed you throughout your time with us!
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